Lowly Mail Carrier
by Sonny at Twilight
Summary: One-shot about Josh, mentions of CxS "I was a computer geek who wore glasses, had frizzy brown hair, and was so shy it often came across like I had no personality. My very being didn’t scream girl magnet at all. I was more like the hopeless girl repeller"
1. Lowly Mail Carrier

**This is just a short-ish two-shot about someone we really don't see hardly anything about, and has only been on the show once. Josh. And I've got to say, it was really pretty fun to flesh out his character a little and decide what he really is like and why he acts the way he does. However, out of everything that I decided on about him, I never actually figured out a last name for him. Oh well. ;-) Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Sonny with a Chance_.**

Lowly Mail Carrier

**Josh's Point of View**

I'd always thought, and hoped, that my lowest point in life would've been when I decided to deliver mail around a giant studio for a bunch of celebrities, for next to nothing as my paycheck. Unfortunately, I had been wrong.

I had just now reached my lowest point, hiding in the bushes and being reduced from probably the worst job in the studio, to scummy spy. Worse even, than sleazy journalist who prints lies about the very celebrities I delivered mail to. Well, maybe not worse, but my level of low certainly felt like I was somewhere in that neighborhood of scum.

It wasn't like I'd meant to end up here, spying. This was all an unfortunate coincident.

Of course, I wouldn't have ended up where I was today if it hadn't of been for me taking that mail carrier job. Yes, for almost six years now, I'd worked at Condor Studios as the lowly mail carrier. I first started when I was sixteen, and it was only my part time job. And after having to deliver the mail for a full year to people like Tawni Hart and Chad Dylan Cooper, I'd had every intention of quitting when I found a job elsewhere that would be much less demeaning.

But then, I saw _her_. She was wearing a fat suit and waitress' uniform with a beehive-styled wig on her head. Talking to her- _and _conning her out of her frozen yogurt –was Chad Dylan Cooper (also known as, the guy who _still _couldn't get my name right). Her name was Sonny Munroe, and she was absolutely completely perfect, just the way she looked in that first moment.

After I first saw her, I knew I _had_ to meet her. Quitting my job was no longer an option as I needed an excuse to casually meet her. When we did finally first meet, I was delivering a stack of menus from another Chinese restaurant to her, Tawni, and Zora. They had just gotten done with their show onstage, and Sonny was dressed as a giant gingerbread cookie. It was almost unfair how she still looked so perfect dressed up in such an odd costume. I gave her, her menu personally, she smiled sweetly, thanked me, and I got kicked out the door by Tawni before I could say hardly anything to her.

A couple of weeks passed by and for some reason I couldn't understand, Tawni always insisted taking Sonny's mail to her, herself. This irritated me to no end since I didn't have a hope of ever getting her to like me, much less talk to me, and my only opportunities to even see her were when I could deliver her, her mail. And here was this spoiled, stuck-up blond taking my only joy in my crummy job away from me. I couldn't revolt though. How could I when I was the lowly mail carrier? My only two options were to stay and catch brief glimpses of Sonny when I could, or quit. Quitting was still not an option I could consider.

I was sure glad I stayed, since eventually, my only solace in that wretched studio was returned and every day, I was able to deliver Sonny Munroe her mail. Sometimes, I even purposefully forgot to give her all of her mail just so I could see her twice. I never actually got a chance to _really_ talk to her though. She was always so busy with her friends, the show, or… _him_.

Yes, somehow, whether she could admit it or not, she'd become absolutely fascinated with that dolt of an actor, Chad Dylan Cooper. In Sonny's defense however, she was not shallow in her fascination with him. From what I could gather from a distance, what mostly intrigued her were his spurts of kindness and caring, why he only expressed them towards her, and the mystery behind all of it.

Sonny corrected him whenever she was in the same room and heard him say my name incorrectly. She would get annoyed with him for it, but still have this inane desire to be around him and with him. I'm no mind reader, but it was still pretty clear the way it seemed she purposefully dragged out petty arguments with him.

It was always like this for Chad, I supposed. Girls loved him for his hair, his eyes, his smile… Basically everything that had to do with his appearance and what he appeared to be. What I hated though, was that Sonny wasn't even falling for Chad for superficial reasons. That almost made it harder to bear and watch. She was falling for him as an actual person. The personality traits Chad only showed towards Sonny won her over, whether either were aware of it or not.

It was kind of a crushing thing, this rejection. Not that I wasn't used to rejection, I was. After all, I was a computer geek who wore glasses, had frizzy brown hair, and was so shy it often came across like I had no personality. My very being didn't scream girl magnet at all. I was more like the hopeless girl repeller. So yes, I was used to rejection in one form or another at that point. But it was one thing to be rejected by a girl who loved the superficial, made up side of Chad Dylan Cooper and a whole other thing to be rejected by a special girl who loved Chad for who he really was.

This not only made me sad, but it irritated me as well. He didn't even really love her, much less like her, the way that I did, and still do. Did Chad still consider Sonny beautiful when she had on fake warts on her face, or when she was dressed like a teapot? Did he know that her favorite color was purple and that she had an unexplainable love of plaid? Did he know that she knew how to skateboard quite well and liked to watch football with her mom? Or that every time she watches _Titanic_ she can't help but cry and that she's a sucker for a good romance movie? Did he love the way she squealed and hopped up and down when she was excited or did he really find it all childish? Did he truthfully think she was gorgeous just the way she was or did he really only know and love the gorgeous girl Sonny had transformed herself into once she started caring how she looked when Chad saw her? I doubted it.

I mean, I really knew a lot about Sonny. Not in a creepy way though, like I don't even know her phone number or where she lives, but I just paid attention to her whenever I could. In the Commissary, in the halls, while I was delivering her mail, and then I also just paid attention to the answers she gave in interviews. You can't blame me for being curious.

Of course, there is too curious, and in the beginning, I can admit that I did ask someone on _So Random_ to just tell me everything that they heard about Sonny during the day, _for one day_. I asked Zora, since the girl hung out in the vents and would surely hear a lot about Sonny from other people and Sonny herself. That day I actually did find out a bit about Sonny, and that at least two other guys in the building thought she was pretty.

I never asked Zora to again, though, after that first day. There were three reasons I never asked her after that. One was because it felt wrong and like an invasion of privacy. I just felt that, that was… too extreme of a measure, I guess. Two was because Zora charged me an exorbitant amount of money for the service and I didn't think I could swing that every week, much less every day. And three was because, quite frankly, Zora scared me. I don't know what it was about her that scared me, though. Maybe it was the fact that she could rig a cold cut catapult, or that she knew so much about medieval torture. Or, maybe it was just that she was only eleven and was already smarter than most people, _and_ had a devious streak. Either way, after that I found out more about Sonny the normal, non-creepy way.

So, my observations and general pining for her continued for… oh, about five years. You'd think I'd have gotten over it. Nope. Unfortunately, I still had an unhealthy love for Sonny, and a slightly irrational loathing of Chad Dylan Cooper. And yet somehow I couldn't look away as I saw their relationship evolve from the fighting, and then slowly, the flirting, the realizations, the actual dating, the breakup, the makeup- heck I had been there for the makeup! Come to think of it, I'd helped them get to where they were today more than I even remembered.

I remember now though.

Back then, I was always ready for any shred of an opportunity to come for me to somehow be with this amazing girl. There was never any doubt in my mind that should an opportunity come, I would jump at it. How could I pass it up? How could _anyone_ pass it up?

Even science geniuses make mistakes…

It had been five years almost to the exact date that I first saw and foolishly fell in love with Sonny Munroe. I was going about my business, delivering the mail at this gosh awful job. The only reason I was still working in this rat hole part time while I was in college was so I could I see Sonny every day. I was only two turns in the hallway away from stage three where _Mackenzie Falls_ taped when I came across Sonny, sitting cross-legged on the floor with her head in her hands.

"Sonny?" I addressed her quietly.

She lifted her head from her hands and sniffled pitifully. She'd clearly been crying since long dark streaks of mascara ran down her cheeks, and her whole face was red and splotchy. Sonny's small fists now resting on top of her knees were smudged black where her thumbs folded under her index fingers. The black had most likely been her eye shadow, and she'd rubbed it off, explaining why her eyes were ringed like a raccoon's.

"Josh," Sonny stated in surprise, quickly scrambling to get off the floor and act like nothing was wrong. Of course, two swollen bloodshot brown eyes looking up at me said otherwise.

"What happened?" I questioned her with a little more volume.

Sonny shrugged casually and forced her pale lips into a half smile. "Psh, psh, nothing. I'm just… you know… nothing."

For someone who could act better than that blond dolt ever gave her credit for, Sonny was a terrible liar. I hadn't known until that moment. I made a mental note and moved on.

"Really?" I asked.

Sonny's half smile faded as she let the corners of her mouth fall down and her top teeth bit into the left side of her lower lip. "Well, uh… No, not _really_, I guess," she admitted reluctantly.

I didn't know what to say, and I all I could do was stare at her and hope she didn't think I was trying to be rude or uncaring.

Her brown eyes stared back into mine for a few seconds before she looked away awkwardly and rubbed her shoulder in a nervous manner. "Okay, okay, I'm _not _okay. It's just…" She looked back up at me. "You know Chad, right?"

_Do I know Chad? Ha. Yes, yes, I do, Sonny. More than you do, in fact._

I nodded.

"Well, you know that Chad and I have been kind of… dating for a while?" Sonny checked hesitantly. It was almost like she knew about my crush on her and was trying to be careful with what she said. Gosh, I hoped not.

_Yes, actually, I'm more aware of the fact that you're dating him than I'd like to be. _

I nodded my confirmation again.

Sonny swallowed hard and wiped a few remaining tears off her cheek with the back of her hand. "So, um, Chad used to really date around a lot before we started dating, and he's been really good and not cheated on me for the whole time… that I knew of."

Oh, yes, I most definitely knew about this. The blond twins he dated at the _same time_, Miss Gomez in secret, and pretty much every pretty girl he worked with on a show or movie. That was yet another reason why Sonny deserved so much better than him. What I hadn't known about, though, was that he'd been unfaithful to her apparently. I should've expected as much.

I wished I could give her a hug or any kind of comforting physical contact but I couldn't. Not only would that freak her out since I hardly ever spoke with her about anything, but I was also way too much of a chicken to do anything of the sort.

"And yesterday rehearsal ended early for me so I went to go see him on set and when I got there…" Sonny's eyebrows crinkled and she bit her lip again. She sniffed and continued talking. "And when I got there, I saw him kissing another girl. And I know that it's not for _Mackenzie Falls_, it wasn't for rehearsal or anything. I know who is guest starring this week and that girl is not… at all," Sonny's voice broke and she covered her mouth with her hand for the briefest of moments before she pulled herself together again. She sniffed quickly. "And when I saw it happen yesterday, I just… I just panicked, so I left and went home. I've been avoiding him this whole time until today."

Though my facial expression didn't change, my outlook on things did. As sorry as I'd been when she was telling me what happened, this was my beacon of light. My hope. The direction her words were headed were saying she was a free woman now and that meant perhaps it was time for me to step up.

And then she mentioned that this took place yesterday. All it took was that one little clarification to dim the light at the end of my depressing loveless tunnel of life. My hope took a hit by fifty percent.

_Because_, the kicker was, I'd been there when it happened. I knew the whole story because I'd had to wait around for Chad to finally just take his mail since he likes getting all of his fan mail handed to him personally. I'd been there during his audition for a new romance movie, and for the audition, he'd had to kiss the girl who had already been cast in the movie to see what their chemistry was like. So he really had not been cheating on her.

…But wait. Shouldn't Sonny already know this? Didn't Chad defend himself or did he really not care about her that much, and didn't have any problems just letting her go?

Sonny cleared her throat softly, apparently only taking a break in her explanation as she made sure her voice wouldn't falter again. "When I went to confront him about it just now, he said that he didn't cheat on me, and that I was blowing it all out of proportion. Then he said something about some stupid audition but I walked out before he could get it all out," Sonny finished relatively calmly, tucking a piece of her straight black hair behind her ear.

I couldn't remain silent after she'd shared all of that with me, so I opened my mouth to say something– anything –but Sonny started speaking again at a rapid pace.

"And, you know, I totally should've seen this coming. I mean, dating a celebrity? Pfft." Sonny waved it off as though it were the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard of. I could see genuine hurt filtering through the holes in her cover up though.

"Since when does dating a fan ever work out?" Sonny questioned rhetorically.

I blinked. Did she expect me to fit an answer or confirmation that I was still listening in between her endless talking? What was I supposed to say? _"You're right. You were an idiot." _Yes that would go over swimmingly.

"Because in reality, I'll always be the same old Wisconsin girl who won the chance of a lifetime, and I'll never be a '_real'_ celebrity. I'll always just be like one of the fans. I shouldn't have even thought about dating Chad. I would have been better off dating someone normal." Sonny's frantic, freshly-watery eyes flickered to my face. She gestured with a small hand towards me and blinked rapidly. "I'd have been better off dating someone more like you." Her voice was taking on a more squeaky tone as she started to lose the ongoing battle with her tear ducts.

This was where I would have to end it. I couldn't just let her cry over someone who, this time, didn't do anything wrong. Boy did I hate admitting to that. Not to mention the fact that I couldn't take listening her say that she would've been better off with someone more like me. Because that was too close to saying she'd be better off with _me_, for me to be able to handle and still do the right thing.

Of course… What had _Chad Dylan Cooper_ ever done for me? Why should I do this for him? I owed him nothing. I could just let Sonny believe that everything that she thought had happened was all true. I could even turn the tables in my favor since she already brought up being better off with someone like me. Yeah… Why couldn't I? And the better question being, why _shouldn't_ I?

I looked down at Sonny. She was looking at the wall past me while she swiftly used her fingers to wipe away her tears. A frown appeared where my poorly timed half smile had been moments before. Oh yeah. That was why not.

How could I realistically live with myself and lie to Sonny? And hurt Sonny purposefully just so that I could have a small chance with her? It didn't really matter what _I_ thought of that blond-headed gadfly at all in this situation.

Sighing, I took my right hand off the handle of my mail cart and used it to push my glasses back into place on my nose. "Sonny," I said quietly and slightly reluctantly.

Sonny looked up at me with her big brown, watery eyes. "Yes?"

I glanced uncomfortably away from her to stare at the wall. "Chad was kissing the other girl for a movie audition," I told her tonelessly.

She blinked in surprise and a glimmer of hope flashed across her face. "What?"

"I was there. It was for an audition. He didn't cheat on you." That was a lot harder to say than I thought it would be. I absolutely loathed having to stick up for the pigheaded actor who made this job three times more awful every day.

An automatic small smile lit up Sonny's face again but she controlled it and pulled her eyebrows together seriously. "He didn't tell you to say this did he? He's not paying you or something?"

Uh, yeah right. Like I would ever A) accept money from that guy or B) help him win back the girl that _I_ loved. Not likely in any lifetime.

Sonny watched my expression for a few moments before she nodded to herself and rolled her eyes with a smile on her face. "Heh, right. This is Chad we're talking about. He still calls you Jeff… Right." Rocking back and forth on the heels of her shoes, she shoved her hands in her jeans pockets. "So you really are telling the truth, aren't you?"

_Unfortunately. If there ever were a good time to be either wrong or lying, it would be now. _

"Yes," I confirmed truthfully. "I figured you'd want to know… Don't want to break up for no reason," I added quietly, cringing internally. Why did doing the right thing have to hurt so much? For that matter, why did it seem like doing the wrong thing always looked easier and less painful? Why did everything that's good or good for you have to be hard to swallow?

Sonny smiled sweetly and made an "aww" face. "Well, thank you." Her eyes turned speculative. "Why haven't we ever talked before? You seem so sweet."

_Well, Sonny, it's because you've been so busy with your friends, your show, and Chad and because I'm just too shy to talk to you in long sentences. _

"We should hang out sometime. Have lunch, just talk, whatever," Sonny suggested brightly, taking her hands out of her pockets.

I slammed that door shut before I could even think of going there. That was a dangerous place to go to. Even being just friends with Sonny wouldn't be a good thing. Because that would never be enough for me and I couldn't be friends with Sonny and make my life even more dysfunctional. That wouldn't help anything.

"I can't," I stated shortly.

Sonny smiled in amusement and wrinkled her nose. "What?" she asked me as though she hadn't heard me right.

"I'm quitting my job here so I can spend more time on school so we'd both be too busy to really talk," I said, rushing through the words. The excuse had come out before I'd even thought about it. I knew I had to quit though. Not just so Sonny wouldn't get suspicious but because it would probably be ten times harder now to stay away from her and to let her be with someone else.

Sonny didn't seem offended by my somewhat lame excuse. "Aww, that's too bad. You seem like such a nice person," she told me genuinely.

I swallowed my grief and just offered her a lopsided smile. Yes, I seemed like a nice person who she thought she would like. But that could never be enough.

Footsteps in the hallway behind Sonny made her turn and I already knew how her face would light up as she saw that it was Chad, coming after her.

"Chad!" she exclaimed, hurrying over to him.

Chad's face brightened when he realized that Sonny was clearly not upset with him anymore.

Sonny all but threw herself at him in a hug, already launching into an "I'm so sorry I didn't even listen to you" speech while his own "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before" apology mixed together with hers.

That was my cue to leave. Hurriedly, I went back to my cart and pushed it away down the hall, deciding to deliver _Mackenzie Falls_' mail a little later.

Well, that had been dreadful. All this time I'd been dreaming about the chance to finally be with Sonny and then I went and… wasted it on helping _Chad_.

Okay, that wasn't true. It was the right thing to do and I suppose if I were to get a second chance at it, I'd do it again.

So, yes, in a way I had helped them get back together. It wasn't the first time I'd helped their relationship along though. It was just the first time I did it knowingly.

The first time was when I was reluctantly mentoring Chad for his small but crucial role in _Law School Musical_. I'd sent Chad backstage on _So Random_ to deliver a package to Marshall after he'd practically begged me to let him do something. I'd been purposefully giving him a hard time all day by not letting him do anything and being beyond picky when I was teaching him things. All of these acts were starting to weigh slightly on my conscience, so I'd agreed to let him do _something. _

I didn't know until the next week when I was watching _So Random_ that Chad had taken that opportunity backstage to do his first good deed _ever_ for none other than Sonny. It was obvious to me who it was under the weird beard but probably not to anyone else. So that was an indirect nudge in the friends/maybe more direction for them from me.

That was really the only other time I could remember. There may have been others, but clearly they were so insignificant, even_ I_ couldn't remember them.

And so we've come full circle back to the point where I'm crouching down behind a piece of shrubbery outside of Condor Studios in the parking lot.

It had been three days since I managed to get Sonny and Chad back together which was also the day that I quit. Today was the day that I picked up my last measly paycheck.

I'd been on my way to my sorry excuse for a car to drive away from here for the last time when I came across Sonny and Chad standing next to Sonny's car (and my car two spaces down) talking. I hadn't wanted to interrupt or even have to walk by them together, so I'd gotten behind a one of the bushes planted right outside the studio's doors and just ten feet away from my car.

I'd planned on just waiting them out. I hadn't planned on ending up feeling like a filthy spy.

I couldn't really catch everything Chad was saying to Sonny. All I really heard was "sorry," "I wish," "do this classier" and "figured you wouldn't mind."

Sonny shook her head, smiling and said something like "what are you talking about?"

That was when I should've turned around and went back inside the building for just a few minutes before I left for home. Either that or I should've just looked away.

Because I didn't think I'd ever be able to get the picture of someone other than me, getting down on one knee, pulling out what looked like, and sparkled in the sun like, a huge diamond ring, and asking Sonny to marry him. Asking _my_ Sonny to marry him.

Except that she wasn't my Sonny. She was Chad's. And judging by the happy tears and giant hug she gave Chad, she soon would be _legally_ Chad's as well.

This was most likely the biggest metaphorical slap in the face I've ever gotten. Today hadn't just dashed my hopes of one day winning Sonny over somehow someway. This made all of my hopes completely and utterly impossible. It was like, what happened three days ago was like the small piece of fabric representing my small hope that Sonny might ever like me back being ripped into two pieces. But then, apparently, there had still been frayed strings of attachment barely holding the pieces together, because what happened today was a pair of giant scissors cutting those last few strings apart. And now I had nothing. If I didn't even have a small patch of hope left to rely on in my hopeless love for Sonny, than what _did _I have? Nothing, I supposed.

And technically, they _may_ not have gotten to this point in their relationship if I hadn't done what I did. I wasn't going to go around telling everyone that, though. Especially not Sonny or Chad. And not just because it would feel too self-righteous and sound like I was saying they should be thanking me or whatever. No, it wasn't just because of that. It was also because, who would ever believe me? It's like, "yeah right. The mail delivery dude helped a celebrity couple who have been together for over two years reunite and then get engaged? Uh, sure…"

Numbly, I staggered to my feet, went back into Condor Studios, exited out the back way, and walked the long way back to my house. I could come and get my car back later in the afternoon.

Somehow, from this point on in my life, I would have to completely get over my five year crush/love for Sonny Munroe. Because if I didn't, my life would become even more pathetic than I could've ever imagined it would turn out to be. Being in love with an engaged woman? No. That would not be how I'd live my life. I was overdue for getting over Sonny anyway. Better late than never…?

And who knew, maybe someday after I got out of college and got a better job, I'd meet someone who would actually fall in love with the computer geek, the underdog, the quiet guy in the back of the room. Fall in love with me. I just had to keep remembering that someday that day would come for me, and that in reality, Sonny was never going to be mine. And today, I hadn't lost her. You can't lose what you never had in the first place. And I really never had her. Not even for a second. And before I could actually find someone else who I loved and who loved _me _back, I would have to get over Sonny.

And today would be have to be the day that I slowly unraveled the mile long quilt of my attachment towards her. The day that I would try to start living again. The day I would try to stop being hopelessly and pathetically infatuated with Sonny Munroe. And the day that I stopped wasting my time pining for someone who could never be mine in a million years. It was a new day, and a very, very hard day.

Every cloud has a silver lining though. At least now I no longer had to work as the studio's lowly mail carrier.

**So, for this one, I was reading a super short little fanfiction about how Mike Newton felt one time when he saw Bella and Edward kissing in the cafeteria. And then a bunch of little what ifs popped into my head for a story idea, until I came to the final "what if" that made me write this one-shot. What if Josh, the mail carrier who we only see once in an episode, secretly liked Sonny and had to watch her and Chad's relationship evolve right in front of him? So from there, I wrote out this two page drabble about Josh describing his experience at Condor Studios and Sonny and Chad and Sonny with Chad. It needed more though. So, it underwent quite a bit of editing and adding (i.e. Josh helping Sonny and Chad out a little), and in the end, the whole original "ramblings" stayed, and just a lot of parts were added around it to give this _two_-shot more of a point and mini plot. In the end, I ended up really liking Josh and kind of really feeling sorry for him. :-( **


	2. Epilogue

**Long story short, I felt so guilty about not giving Josh a happy ending, I wrote out this whole epilogue.  
****Read this is if you want, but just so you know, Chad and Sonny are not in this **_**at all**_**. I think Josh mentions them together once or twice and that's it.  
****You've been warned… **

**_----_**

Epilogue 

**Josh's Point of View**

Twenty-four weeks. Six months. Half of a whole year. That's how long it had been since I'd quit my job as the lowly mail carrier for Condor Studios and dedicated my time to school. I hadn't seen Sonny or Chad since that last day in the parking lot. I'd certainly thought about them, though. Well, not so much Chad, really, as I'd really just been thinking about Sonny. How she was doing. If she were already planning what dress she'd wear down the aisle and just how many of her relatives she should invite.

I had hopes- high hopes apparently -that after about four months the hurting would've at the very least eased up a little. It didn't. And eventually I got tired of just waiting around for it to "naturally" happen. To be honest, I didn't even know how you "naturally" got over someone. So since the natural way was out, I had to find a plan B.

There was always professional help. You know, shrinks, therapists, and other people of that nature to counsel you through your "letting go" journey. Or at least, that was what it seemed like it was all about after I read some of the online homepages for a few of the local professionals. However, after checking how much they charged per session, how much money I still had, and taking into account that I had yet to find another job, this was not my plan B, and nor would it ever be barring winning the lottery.

So at this point, the natural way was out, professional help was out, and I wasn't going to talk to my unsuspecting parents about it. What was left?

It was with this question in mind that I did a little research on the internet and came across a book. And yes, I mean a self-help book. Its title was _The Road to Recovery: Getting over Your Lost Love_. Several people in the reviews section said it was extremely helpful, and unlike one of their therapists, didn't ask them "how they felt about that" every five seconds. Well… it was worth a try.

I went to a nearby Barnes and Noble, found the book, and started reading it in the store… while I held a giant book full of science theories in front of it. People who were in my college classes went to the same bookstore as I did and even though I didn't talk to them or… anyone, I didn't need to add "needs love help" to the list of negative things about me.

To my extreme surprise, it actually did start to help me. Slowly but surely, it felt like things were getting a tiny bit better. Yes, things were slightly looking up as I read further and further into the rather lengthy book. It had twenty-five chapters and about three hundred or so pages.

And I was on the last chapter, Chapter Twenty-Five: Finding the Person Who _Does_ Love You, as I walked through the school's quad after my class got out. I was practically to the end as I read the very last page.

"_So hang in there, pal. That one special person is out there. You just have to be patient and wait for that one moment when you find them. It might be someone you already know, or it could be someone who you just suddenly run into out of nowhere and everything just automatically clicks into pl-"_

Ironically enough, at that moment, I walked right into someone since I hadn't been watching where I was going at all. Whoops. How very typical of me.

The book fell right out of my hands and landed on the concrete with a smack. It closed automatically and was facing cover up. Next to it lay several other books that I guessed belonged to the person I'd just singlehandedly mauled.

With an internal groan, I kneeled down on the hard cement. On the ground was my book, one large text book, a spiral notebook, and… _The Road to Recovery: Getting Over your Lost Love._ What a weird coincident. I guess whoever it was, was reading the same book as me.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going at all," a very feminine voice apologized right as a thin, pale hand reached for the light blue spiral notebook. A small, also very feminine, body was kneeling down next to me with her head bent towards the ground so I couldn't see her face.

"Neither was I. Sorry," I also apologized as she reached for my book and put it on top of her notebook. I frowned. I mean, in the long run I supposed it didn't _really_ matter which copy of the book I had. But _still_, that one was mine. I bought it, and- being the mild dork that I am -I wrote my name on the inside cover. And that would probably mean that I'd have to speak up and tell her it was mine. Great…

She had her textbook in her arms now and finally looked up from the ground. Unlike most other people probably would've been in the same situation, I wasn't shocked that she was very pretty. And that was only because it was just so like me to run into not just a woman, but a pretty one as well. She had bright blue eyes, thinner lips, and delicate rimless glasses resting on her nose. Blond hair that just barely touched her shoulders framed her face. Yes, she was very, very pretty, but that was also very, very irrelevant.

"Uh, that's actually my book," I said quietly, pointing one finger at the book still resting in her arms. I reached down and picked up her copy, timidly holding it out for her to take.

Her mouth turned down into a speculating frown. "Really? I don't think so…" she spoke, trailing off as she set her other books down and picked up my book into her hands. "Let me check since I wrote my name in…" she trailed off again as she turned it open and must've seen my name written on the front cover.

She cracked a smile. "Well, I guess that is yours, then." She closed the book and held it out for me to take also.

We exchanged our books.

She smiled again, appearing to look right at me. I had to resist the urge to check and make sure she wasn't smiling at someone right behind me. She flipped open her own book, and bent back the front cover of the paperback. "Hi, I'm-" She turned the book and held it up for me to see the two words written in dark blue marker. It read "Angela Marks." Angela closed the book after a few seconds, still smiling, and still looking at me. "-but you can call me Angie. And you are…?"

I copied what she did and held up my book to where I'd written my name. Huh. Maybe it wasn't so dorky after all if someone like her did it too.

Angie nodded once. "Josh Mason," she read off of it. "Hi."

"Hello," I greeted her, closing the book uncomfortably. I wasn't exactly what you'd called used to being around girls a lot. Especially not actually talking to them, being this close to them, keeping eye contact with them… That sort of thing.

Angie ducked her head and picked up all of her books again. "Well, I should get going, I guess. Studying for midterms, you know," she said, rising up to her feet.

Silently, and stupidly, I also got up off the ground awkwardly.

Somewhere behind me, there was the sound of a door closing with a click.

"…_it could be someone who you just suddenly run into out of nowhere and everything just automatically clicks into place…" _

_Oh, come on_, I thought to myself. _What are the odds that this Angie and I bumped into each other and things are clicking around us, and that just automatically makes it fate? _

Another passage from the book reminded me of another good point. It said to not be afraid to put yourself back out there once you feel ready. Was I ready yet? I wasn't sure. I'd never been through true heartbreak before so I had no clue as to what it felt like once you were "ready again." It's kind of like when you have a cold for over a week. You get so used to feeling miserable and stuffed up all the time that you can't even remember what it feels like to not be sick. I'd been heartsick, officially, for over six months now, and I had no idea what it felt like to not feel heartsick. Maybe I was better.

And in turn, that could mean that possibly, I'd somehow been thrown into this situation where I met Angie, and we seemed to have some things in common, and _maybe_ it was meant to be. If that were true, then that would also mean doing something that I was not fond of at all. It would mean throwing myself out on a limb, putting myself out of my comfort zone, and talking to her. Something I was no good at. That much was clear since I spent five years silently pining for Sonny, and my total number of dates was still at the zero mark. Yep. Almost twenty-two, never kissed a girl, never been on a date.

I started feeling nauseous at the thought of having to speak up and talk to her. The nausea _and_ the shaky feeling were usually what stopped me from talking to Sonny, or to any girl I liked a little. My comfort zone was safe. It didn't make me feel like I was going to throw up at a moment's notice or like I had a giant magnifying glass pointed at me to amplify my mistakes.

Probably three seconds had passed as I thought all of this through. I looked down at Angie, noticing how her head barely even came up to my shoulders, and how the smile still quirking up her lips made her look unbelievably sweet. Maybe… well, maybe even sweeter than Sonny.

Angie nodded once at me as a goodbye. "Bye, Josh." She turned around and started to walk away.

Internally, I was literally battling with myself. I so badly wanted to talk to her, but that idea just seemed so impossible. What if what I said to her was stupid and she thought I was an illiterate moron? What if she thought I was just an emotional train wreck since I was reading that book and she'd only been being nice before? Ugh! But on the other hand, I really didn't want to just let her go. Hadn't I spent enough time being antisocial and never talking to women because I was too scared? Did I really want to spend the rest of my life living with my parents after college?

Finally, I quickly took a deep breath and walked forward a few steps to go after Angie. "Do you like the book?" I blurted out.

_There, that wasn't so hard_, I congratulated myself. Now I just had to mentally deal with how very random that question had been.

Angie stopped walking and spun around to face me again. She stood just four feet away from me, hugging her books to her chest, and in general… looking pretty cute. The deep, nervous pit in my stomach dipped and I started having regrets saying anything.

That is, until she grinned a little and nodded at me. "Yeah, I do. It's very… helpful. Do you?" Angie questioned me, conversationally.

_Don't say anything moronic_, ran swiftly through my head. "Yes, I like it. It… helped a lot. I'm on the last chapter. 'Finding the Person Who-'"

"'-_Does_ Love You,'" Angie finished. "Me too. I'm almost finished with it and my 'road to recovery,'" she said with a wry smile.

"Same here," I said, letting myself also smile. Okay, my comfort zone was still a couple of miles back, but it seemed to be easier now that I was actually, already talking to her. My stomach dropped again when I thought of something that I wanted to do, but also had zilch experience in doing. My pause was another two or three seconds as I battled it out again in my head.

_Oh, what the heck? I've already jumped out on the limb. Who cares if it breaks at this point?_ I finally conceded in my head.

"Uh… do you… drink coffee?" I asked her awkwardly, nervously running my thumb over a small part of the book in my hand.

Angie ducked her head and chuckled a little. She was probably laughing at my insinuation of an offer. Alright, where was the nearest rock to crawl under?

I was proven wrong though when she raised her head up again and her cheeks looked like she was blushing. "No, I'm actually not a big… coffee drinker," Angie told me shyly. "I don't like the taste," she added after a small pause.

Hmm. Alright, so she wasn't laughing at me, and she hadn't outright denied me yet, unless of course she was lying. She didn't seem like she was though.

My hands felt shaky again and the nauseous feeling returned. "Smoothies…?" I asked.

"Smoothies are always good," Angie said.

_Just blurt it out and get it over with already!_

"Do you want to go get one… with me?" I offered, nervously. Well, even if this ended up leaving me rejected again, at least I'd have gotten farther along in the process than ever before. At the same time I could feel myself cringing and chanting in my head, _please don't say no, please don't say no._

"Now? Sure," Angie agreed with a small smile still brightening her face.

_Huh? I'm sorry, did she actually just say yes? Can I get a recording of that? _

I nodded casually a beat too late. I hoped she didn't realize it was because I was too stunned by her answer to reply right away.

"To… the cafeteria…?" Angie suggested.

"Okay."

We started walking at a leisurely pace to the campus cafeteria not too far away. Out of the corner of my eye I glanced down at her. For the most part, all I could see of Angie was the top of her head and her wavy dark blond hair blowing in the slight breeze. She was wearing a knee-length black skirt and a dark blue, delicate blouse. …And she agreed to go get a smoothie… with _me_?

Huh. Although I was still a little shell-shocked that anyone from the female population would be interested in getting a smoothie with me and talking with me, I realized something. Well, a few things, actually.

For starters, I was actually interested in a girl who was not Sonny Munroe. That was definitely something considering I first saw Sonny I never thought any other girl could compare to her. To be honest, I was a tad happy to be wrong in this instant.

I was proven wrong twice in this one moment. I'd always thought it was physically impossible for me to talk in full sentences to any female that I liked without sounding like a complete moron. Back there, there could've been definite improvement, but it didn't all come out horrible. Small success.

Not to mention the fact that this was a living, breathing, _beautiful_ girl who said yes to _me_. She didn't turn me down, or anything. Not to say that I suddenly thought that this one acceptance either healed me or made Angie my girlfriend. I wasn't that delusional. But unlike some of the other girls in middle school and my freshman year in high school that I asked out, Angie didn't say no just to hanging out with me, casually (since as far as I was concerned, this whole smoothie trip as a completely casual, no-romantic-strings-attached outing). This was… progress, I think.

I mean, sure. This wasn't the fairytale ending I'd subconsciously imagined. I wasn't going to marry Sonny and have little Sonny and Josh juniors. But… surprisingly, that was okay. It was okay because this wasn't even an ending for me. It was more like the beginning, after having wasted five years pining for Sonny Munroe. And that was good that this was just a beginning for me since I still hadn't even been on a date yet.

And who knew? Maybe that first date would be with Angie. You never know…

What I did know, though, was that also from this point on, I would be happier, somehow. And not _just_ because I was no longer the lowly mail carrier. There were other reasons too. Not being the lowly mail carrier anymore was just a really good perk.

**The end…?**

**_----_**

**"The end…?" does not actually mean I plan on posting anything more for Josh and Angie. Just implying again that it's not really an "end" for Josh.  
****So, my inspiration for this long, long epilogue was the song "Edward Leaves" from the New Moon Movie Score. The first five notes of this song always make me really sad, and while I was listening to it once, it made me think of the sad ending I left Josh to deal with. Unexplainable guilt took over and I suddenly just had to write him a happy ending. And thus, this was written.  
****On a side note, if you really like beautiful instrumental music, may I recommend getting the "The Twilight Saga: New Moon Movie Score" whether you like the franchise or not. Seriously, all of the pieces are so wonderful regardless of whether you like the books, the movies, or both. Yes, I am shamelessly advertising again. ;-)  
Alright, thanks for reading this mostly pointless two-shot. :-)**


End file.
